BEARDS - A science project by Edward Breckenridge
May 15th, 2008

I have a new found respect for the bearded peoples of this earth. The steadfast growth from the facial follicles is quite a commitment, as well as a glorious accomplishment. Some beards come easier than others, and not every one can truly reach the pinnacle of bearddom (namely lady-folk). The truth of the matter is, that I Edward Breckenridge am currently making some sort of an attempt to let my face do as it pleases, in hopes that I can truly come closer to understanding what the heck beards are all about.

I’ve been through many phases of beard enjoyment and absolute loathing. Now, I would never actually razor shave my face because:
One: I don’t like razors near my skin anyway.
Two: eew the horrid rash those razors give me.
Three: a clean face and I look like a baby man.
Growing the beard out meant going past my regular comfort level. This means that normally… when my beard gets to a certain length, I have to shave it because it itches and starts looking silly (my opinion of course). I’ve found that the beard growth hits many of these stages. Lengths that are comfortable, lengths that are itchy, lengths that make me feel unkempt, and lengths that make me say, “Damn! I look like a grown man!”

At the moment I plan on cutting this beard off at the and of this tour. Namely because of one specific part of this beard, and I’m not actually sure if this part of the facial fuzziness would actually be considered “beard.” This evil entity of hair rests upon my upper lip. YES, THE MUSTACHE!

For this experiment I decided that I would not trim any part of the beard what-so-ever. This means that, I must endure the torturous lip-hedge that haunts me so. My distrust/dislike for the mustache starts with eating food. I’m fairly skilled at eating without getting food in the mustache, but I do often mistake mustache hair touching my lip as food and take a bite at my self, “ouch.” Also there are times when my facial lip fuzz hops into my nose, resulting in a sneeze, or a reaction similar to a fly landing on my nose, “gah.” Lastly and somewhat specific to my profession is the microphone mustache hair pluck, “OUCH!” Every once and a while my mustache with find it’s way between the metal weave of the microphone grill. When I step away… pluck! a sharp pain.. and then watery eyes.

The ’stache is honestly my only bane, spoiling my love of bearddom. As I said before… My respect for all those bearded has grown from the experiences I have had with what little beard I have generated in the past few months.

Conclusion:
Beards are great. If you see someone with a beard at least give them a thumbs up, if you haven’t already congratulated them… and I don’t mean a little beard… I mean something that took some commitment! I’m not by any means claiming that I have reached even close to a “serious beard,” but I do feel somewhat closer to the beard world.

Words I’ve heard describing beards: “Cool, sweet, gnarly, rad, bruly, dope, crazy, itchy, fuzzy, and much stremph.”

Love,

Edward




78 Comments



  1. Andrew

    FIRSTIES

    oh my…that beard is intense.




  2. John A

    Second! Yea the beard seems to coming along - I unfortunately have to shave more regularly when I start my new job. Otherwise, I’d much rather grow it out. Did Dustin and Teppei get too tired of it?




  3. luke

    that’s what we in the business refer to as a “manbeard”

    I don’t have one myself, but i’ve lived with one all of my life, I call him father.




  4. kate

    3rd! omg beards are monsterous.




  5. holly

    sweet b eans. dudes.




  6. zach

    ATTENTION
    I have one extra ticket to the SF show, Sunday 5/25 (somebody I bought a ticket for bailed).

    PRICE: Purchase of Volumes 3&4, in exchange for ticket - I know, I haven’t bought a copy yet :(
    *Optional gratuity - a 6 pack of beer and/or a pack of cigarettes :)

    CONTACT: Send me a message via MySpace - http://myspace.com/snwbrdr4004
    I will then figure out a way to meet up with you and give you the ticket.

    **If you are poor, I will gladly waive the purchasing of Volumes 3&4. And I’ll buy you dinner, too. I’d actually rather give the ticket to somebody who can’t afford it - but don’t abuse the offer, please. :)

    lovezachary




  7. Mike

    I wish I could grow a beard as “bruly” as that! (Did I use it right?) I’m 20 years old and can’t grow a beard. Riley would probably put me to shame…




  8. Vince

    Edward,

    Give me three weeks and we can be beardmates.

    Love,

    crazyitaliandude




  9. Melissa H.

    Ed cracks me up.. never have i read a full article on the joys and woes of facial hair - and enjoyed it. if i were a man, i would definitely grow a beard.




  10. Katie

    hahahah!
    i could NOT stop giggling.

    two thumbs up for this post, and rest assured i will probably congratulate you tomorrow on your bearddom. you’ve come a long way!




  11. matt

    yeah, my beard isnt anywhere close to that. i’ve got a little guy… :(

    intense beard for you though!




  12. israel

    Ed, your post are always come from the most sincere aspects of life. I salute you and will join you…..once I convince my wife that is. :)




  13. Russell

    My history teacher has a phenomenal beard. Grizzly Adams, John Muir, ZZ top kinda stuff. That with the long hippy hair makes him look like an early 1900s naturalist mixed with a 1960s…naturalist (hippy). Oddly his rhetoric is extremely academic and his prose is impecable so he provides me with quite the conundrum every tuesday and thursday. Shave the stache and keep the burly chinstrap. Twould be epic, I do say.




  14. luke

    i had a “beard-off” with some friends and mine was about that kinda length.
    i looked to much like a hobo tho, people were offering me money for food in town.

    had to shave it off.

    kudos to eddie tho.




  15. elaine

    that beard is gnarly but pretty sweet. it’s so man it’s “mantastic”. didn’t use to like beards, but now they’re growing on me (not literally). totally should not have read the mustache part during my lunch hour, but whatever. i think my favorite beard would have to be daniel faraday’s in “Lost”.




  16. Hugo

    I can almost feel the stache pain.

    You could do it in the future and trim the stache.

    Thank you for the science report. Proceed with further research.




  17. Rob

    Hahaha, Ed, this just made my day! Keep up the beardness!
    I think the epitome of a “man-beard” is what I saw the other day - some guy with a “ZZ Top” style beard going halfway down his chest. One day, Ed, one day.




  18. Sebas

    I had only once let my beard grow something like 4 years ago for a few months or so. But this year, I don’t know why, I’ve been letting my beard grow once again at the same time that Thrice guys started doing the same (remember Teppei and the buffalo pic).
    Why is the happening, I mean people letting their beards grow? Is this some sort of “Beard World Fever”?
    After this posting I’ll dedicate my whole weekend to think about this issue and will try to arrive to some sort of conclusion, I’ll even do some Wikipedia research…




  19. Ben

    Speaking up now to say I’m morally opposed to beardage, and I do not support such deviant flirting with the devil and his so-called “science!”




  20. Sam

    i totally agree with the razor wet shave opinion you have. i hate shaving i always feel terrible afterwards. i like to trim, keep a bit of facial hair. i actually want to try to grow beard but my only reservations would be it would probably be impossible to chat up any ladies, they would probably just be like why is this tramp talking to me.

    anyways good info on the beards i’d give you a B+




  21. Mike

    Best thing I’ve ever read.




  22. Parke

    Brilliance, thy name is Breckenridge. Nay, the title of world’s best person is not Ghandi, but Beard Man. Who is now a superhero…who i just now made up. And is awesome. And stuff….yeah man. ski masks..




  23. Chris

    OMG ED!
    I feel the same exact way about the mustache! It makes my upper lip feel funny.

    I would have to say that my beard looks almost like yours, except that I trim mine around the jaw line.

    It’s interesting to me because the left side of my face grows straight and full, and the right side of my face grows back towards my ears! It also doesn’t grow in in some places.

    It’s like the goatee part, then a blank space, then the rest of the beard.

    I’ve had mine for a few months now, and I plan on keeping it for a long time coming.
    Beards are awesome!




  24. Danny

    i like the term flavor savor when it comes to the mustache.




  25. Jorge

    You know why your stache sucks? It’s because you’ve shaved it. As a guy who’s faithfully never shaved his stache for 19 years, only trimmed with scissors, I hope I never have to shave my stache completely for fear that it will grow out like my beard making me suffer from a prickly upper lip. My stache is still a razor virgin and it has treated me kindly ;)




  26. Ken

    i wish i could grow a beard. im 18 by the way.




  27. Storm

    Indeed, Edward. I too have been doing the beard thing for about a year, originally I either had stubble when I was too lazy to shave, or never had any facial hair for fear of looking ridiculous. Then, at some point last year, my girlfriend convinced me that I looked better with facial hair than without, and moreover, it did not make me look like I was nine years old. So I grew a beard out as an experiment, and Great Oden’s Raven; lo and behold! The beard was the unfathomable answer I had been searching for in life. My beard began to grow in strength and I began to receive compliments / disdainful comments about it; all the while I stayed the course. Over time, I began to judge others on the strength of their beards, even having the audacity to criticize Brett Favre for having weak facial hair. Eventually the horrific mustache curls you were describing began interfering with my mouthular region, and the entire thing became uncomfortable as it gained a place of its own amongst my face, struggling to carve out a niche of its own in a sea of eyes, ears, mouth, and hair. In the end, I decided it was my beard or me, and I chose myself, ending the power struggle in a hail of gross facial hair clippings that covered my bathroom. Thusly, when you see me sunday Edward, my beard will be a mere shadow of its former self (and I as well), and I will be a mere basker in your manbeardglory.




  28. Kyle

    i dont think ive read anything that funny in a long time. thanks for the laughs eddie. hahahahha my favorite part: “Some words used to describe beardom… …much stremph” hahahaha




  29. Phil Smoke

    My love of Thrice deepens when I see you guys with beards. I’ve been growing mine out since June, with only a couple minor trims. I’ll have to clean it up soon when I start working an internship, but there’s no way I’m shaving it off. DOWN WITH RAZORS! UP WITH BEARDS!




  30. Collin

    Gnarly beards FTW!! haha Ed that is an amazing beard




  31. zach

    Ticket has been sold for a AlchemyIndex Vols 3/4. I only asked for that price to support Thrice - I couldn’t care less about the money. Thanks for getting the ticket off my hands. Congrats on the beard eddie!
    lovezachary




  32. Sebas

    Hey guys, I’ve been doing this beard research thing, pls check this out:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beard_Liberation_Front

    Let’s make Eddie the “Beard of the Year” for 2008.




  33. Trask

    Dear Ed,

    You and your beard are my favorite people ever

    Your friend,
    Trask

    P.S. I’d like to add the word “killer” to the list of words describing beards, because that is the only way to describe the killer beard that is slowly consuming the face of a good friend of mine.




  34. Mitch

    haha, I’m very happy on your new found “beard-dom.” Wish I could grow one, but I can only seem to grow stuff on a small patch on my chin, and nothing more. Sad really.




  35. Chase

    Does anyone else think that first picture has a resemblance to Mr. Abraham Lincoln?

    Therefore I dub Edward the “great beard emmancipator”

    He is a guiding light in the joys and liberties of beards..

    He has lead the beard from oppression, giving it a new home where it wont be shunned.

    Hurray for Edward the Great, making the world a better place, one beard at a time.




  36. Melissa H.

    just so everybody knows.. somebody uploaded almost the entire Thrice set from Wednesday’s show in Pitt.




  37. Melissa H.

    on Youtube.. (sorry)




  38. Denise

    Vince - Of course. Only the italians could make a bet like that.

    That was probably the best beard-related article I’ve read in my entire life.

    Ed should have mutton chops after the tour. ;]
    Keep wearing plaid and you’ll look like a lumberjack.
    Example: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ba4NiGoYjFw
    But you’ll obviously look cooler.

    And I never did like mustaches.. hm..

    Pfft. I could grow a beard. I just don’t want to. >>; YEAH THAT’S IT. >[ [/lady-folk]




  39. alvaro

    crazy beard!




  40. Tom

    ONLY Thrice and ONLY Ed would offer such a wonderful musing to the world

    August is still a long way off but I have taken to listening to everything that is on my ipod of thrice on random in preparation for their third-from-last set at Reading Festival (hopefully 1 hour set).

    so i’ve been listening to all of the alchemy index, ic, first impressions taita, the apple stuff, if we could… vheissu, illusion etc. and as a body of work it hangs together SO well. I wanted to do my own alchemy index, but instead i have put together a greatest list as i felt this was harder. And i just can’t get over how much t a i has made me fall in love with the older stuff somehow even more. So here goes (i decided to limit myself to 20. it is SO hard - digging my own grave and music box for example can’t quite make it. 20 is a real struggle, but that was the challenge i set.

    “Thrice”

    Disc 1

    01 So Strange I remember you
    02 Under a killing moon
    03 Opaque
    04 Stare at the sun
    05 Deadbolt
    06 Paper Tigers
    07 The Messenger
    08 The artist in the ambulance
    09 Open Water
    10 The beltsville cruicible

    Disc 2

    01 image of the invisible
    02 Broken Lungs
    03 See you in the shallows
    04 That Hideous Strength
    05 T&C
    06 To awake and avenge the dead
    07 Come all you weary
    08 All thats left
    09 Firebreather
    10 Silver Wings

    Paper tigers into messenger and t&c into awake and avenge are particularly awesome.

    if you’re after a set list for reading boys. . . feelfree to go for this :o)




  41. Tom

    here’s a point - considering the first song/album of thrice’s i heard was see you in the shallows and illusion of safety, it’s weird that my favourite thrice song of them all is silver wings.




  42. Parke

    QUESTION: Ed is electric. That is all.




  43. Katie

    so last night was Metro show #1!!!
    it was faaaabulous.
    i saw dustin afterward and he was like, “you made it!” hah!!!
    we talked for the longest time about everything and anything..
    recap of what i can remember:
    - they haven’t even touched Rosetta Stone haha
    - he was doing some radio press stuff today
    - he told me about this one time when he cut his hair in florida and the hair was sticking all over him so he had to use this like really short faucet that was outside and surrounded by cement.. it was really funny to see him reenact it. haha

    umm i asked him to play Motion isn’t Meaning tonight and he was like, ’sure!’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!

    OH!
    and teppei’s wife and miles were there!!! it was so cute.

    setlist exactly as it is typed (i got teppei’s for the second time on this tour hah):

    LOIN & THE WOLF
    HOLD FAST POPE
    STARE
    DIGITAL SEA
    BROKEN LUNGS
    TRUST
    DAEDALUS
    FIREBREATHER
    MESSENGER
    FRODUS
    OPEN WALTER
    DUST
    FOR MILES
    SILHOUETTE
    DON’T TELL
    DEADBOLT
    WEARY
    RED SKY
    SONNET (child of dust of course)
    EARTH

    woot!
    dustin didnt mess up any lyrics :-( haha i told him i was disappointed.

    oh and during the set a dude yelled “SOMEONE SHOW HIM YOUR TITS!” and dustin was like, “nooo, that would not be good.”

    pumped for tonight!
    xo




  44. Melissa H.

    katie that is wonderful, thanks for sharing.. i was thinking about the rosetta stone thing! some girl was up on her boyfriends shoulder topless during Pelican at the show i went to .. it was super awkward because all of the staff shined their flashlights at her to get down.. so obviously everybody looked. have fun tonight and goodluck!




  45. Jason

    Sweet beard Ed! I wish I could grow a beard. I only get peach fuzz :( I wont be able to see you guys in Utah like I was planning, I’m so bummed out. Take care fellas, I hope you guys are having fun on tour, peace.




  46. HAY

    make sure you wash that thing once a week




  47. Mike

    Killer setlist! “Open Walter” and “Hold Fast Pope” hahahahaha.




  48. kate

    Katie!

    Nice to hear you had great time at the show. I’ve noticed that you’ve talked to Dustin a few times and I was wondering if you’ve had the chance to chat with the Breckenbros or Teppei? Have another great show tonight!




  49. Denise

    Katie - That’s awesome. :O You’re very lucky to have been able to talk to him! Have fun tonight! Enjoy yourself. ;] ( Haha, you got Teppei’s setlist, too. ) :]




  50. Chase

    I am so jealous Katie… I could cry :’(




  51. Chase

    Hey guys (Thrice and Thrice’s little helpers) I have been trying to add you on myspace for like 3 months!! And my friends request still hasn’t been accepted. Is there something wrong with me? Is it the way I look? Did I do something to offened you? WHY WONT YOU ADD ME!!!!!

    What we have here, is a failure to communicate. So Thrice’s little henchmen, go update your friend adds damnit!!! I am so hurt by the incident, I think there should be just compensation… Therefore in an offer of peace, I give you, Thrice, the option of playing THE WEIGHT OF GLORY (pretty much your greatest song ever), in San Fran on the 25th…. Then and only then will these wounds that you have caused me heal.

    PS I will also take Like Moth to Flames as a consulation.




  52. Chase

    Or just give me VIP passes… Then all would be well…




  53. Jeff

    another word to add to Ed’s beard….epic..=)




  54. Mike

    I think it’s the mark of an amazing album when the outtakes get so many compliments.

    Vheissu > Pizza

    And that’s saying a lot.




  55. Ryan

    Thanks for the show on the 13th, man.




  56. adam?

    i beg to differ on your opinion of vheissu > pizza.
    maybe.

    i’ll have to conduct a scientific study.




  57. Katie

    hey hey guys! back from my chicago-thrice-fun-weekend!

    so Metro show #2 was definitely a really interesting mix-up!
    unfortunately the set had to kind of be rushed through, especially toward the end so one song ended being cut out, and they didnt do the whole “encore” get-up, they just stayed on stage and finished it up.

    heres the set list (i am so pumped that i got a set list for every show i went to on this tour, YAY!):

    ALL THATS LEFT
    SILHOUETTE
    FLAGS
    BROKEN LUNGS
    FIREBREATHER
    BURN THE FLEET
    LOST CONTINENT
    FOR MILES
    BLOODCLOTS
    WHALER
    DAEDALUS
    ARTIST
    MOTION (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
    STARE ACOUSTIC
    WEARY
    STAND
    DEADBOLT
    COLD CASH
    MOUNTAINS (was not played unfortunately)
    EARTH

    highlights:
    LOST CONTINENT WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
    oh man. it was so beautiful. riley was insanely good on that. he was using timpani mallets on every cymbal.. it was just awesome. i don’t think i had seen that one live yet.

    Dustin kept his word and they played MOTION ISNT MEANING!!! i was so happy.

    oh! and they began with All that’s Left, which really surprised me! it’s been nothing but acoustic songs to start the set so far this tour, so they really shook it up!

    funny thing.. on the Earth Will Shake, Riley had swimmer’s goggles on!!! hahaha i should’ve snagged a picture but i was clearly & obviously rocking out too hard.

    i saw dustin again after the show, he high-fived me & i thanked him for Motion.. they still don’t know what they are doing for the fall tour, or even if they’ll HEADLINE it!! whaaaaaat? they have to keep doing headline tours or i’ll be sad. :-(

    ummm.. i know i am probably forgetting some other cool stuff.. but y’know how it goes.

    i got an illlllll hoodie that i am pretty sure will be “THE HOODIE” in my life now. it’s just the right thickness (not too thick, not too light.. just right.. like Goldilocks). so thanks, Thrice, for picking out great merch!

    i hope they get the DVD out before the fall tour starts because i NEEEED something to hold me over until then!

    ps. has anyone won the roadie contest?
    they were supposed to contact the winner on friday. i was hoping i’d get a call/e-mail while waiting in line at the metro. haha

    xo




  58. Katie

    oh & yo kate!

    well, to be honest Dustin is the only one who really seems to like HAAAANG OUT outside with the kids. you may catch a really quick glipse of teps, ed & riley but they dont really seem to stay planted the way dustin does.

    i really would like to say hey to them too but it just didnt work out that way :-(

    there was a bar right by the metro we were hanging out in after the show, and their tour bus was parked in front of it. so we’re outside laughing and whatnot and i noticed a dude standing in the street in front on the bus, with his hood up. and just as the guy walked around and to the bus door, he looked over at us and it was riley. and then he disappeared onto the bus. :-( boooo.

    but it’s cool though, because i used to swear up & down that i didnt want to talk to Dustin because i felt entirely too intimidated by his insanely huge brain.. but now he’s one of my favorite people to catch up with. :-)




  59. Katie

    ok last thing and i will really shut up…

    in between two songs (i dont remember when, towards the end though)

    dustin was like, “thanks to everyone who drove a while to see us, sorry we cant be everywhere” and he was looking over and me and my friend!

    and THAT is why i love them so much.
    they genuinely appreciate their fans no matter how popular they get.




  60. Melissa H.

    katie: thanks for sharing, again :)
    and i’m definitely jealous of your Lost Continent experience.




  61. Denise

    Katie - That sounds awesome. ^^ Glad you had a good time! :D Lucky, you heard Motion Isn’t Meaning live! One of my favourites.




  62. Kaila

    While I was reading this, I was listening to “As The Crow Flies” and
    it had the part where it’s like:
    “Grow your bones, feathers skin…”
    I dunno, I just liked the way it turned out, cuz if you changed
    a few letters you could totally say “grow your beard…” ;)
    Well, I thought it was funny.
    Anywho — just wanted to say that (I know how weird it must be
    to get this all the time from random fans but) he still looks
    f***ing fantastic, beard or not.
    I am sooo in lust, it’s not even funny.




  63. Tyler

    Katie thats got to be so awesome that you requested a song and they played it for you. I wonder if they were planning on playing it or they changed it but IT DOESNT MATTER b/c Thrice is the BEst band ever.

    I hope they play!!!!

    Dust of Nations
    Like Months to Flame
    Artist in the Ambulance

    or at least on of those

    P.S. They are all really cool to talk to , I got the chance to finally meet them at the OC Register Soundstage performance. What an amazing experience.!!

    Thanks that is all




  64. Tyler

    oh yeah and the date for those song requests would be May 30th @ the avalon
    The last day of the tour!

    please
    Dust, Like Months, Artist




  65. Melissa H.

    Tyler: not to jinx you or anything.. but i’m pretty sure you’re safe with Artist in the Ambulance.. good luck either way!




  66. Tyler

    thanks melissa, hey does anyone know where i can find

    burn the fleet (not acoustic) guitar tabs




  67. Walter

    dude does anyone know why they played motion isn’t meaning, will they play it again? Could ya thricey? pleeez…may 27th in anehiem? pleez pleez?




  68. Melissa H.

    walter: who knows why. i know katie asked Dustin before the Chicago show, so requesting it’s one way. i don’t know if it was ever played before Pittsburgh or why there.. .. i guess if you run into them, ask for it.




  69. moony

    hey.. i have a ticket for the 29th if anyone wants it email me at mownad@yahoo.com. OR im me, my aim is mkurdi7… we can work it out and im sure ull be satisfied




  70. Logan

    hey, have they played moths to flame so far on this tour? if so, I’m with Tyler, that would be awesome to see on the 30th. motion without meaning would excel as well. and, I REALLY would love to see stand+feelyourworth, on either the 28th in anaheim or the 30th at the avalon.




  71. Chase

    Dude Moths to Flame on the 25th!!! Usually they play it ever couple of shows… So if they play it one night they might not play it the next…

    Therefor, we must fight to the death in order to find out who gets to hear it…

    There can be only one.




  72. Craig

    Im pretty sure they havent played Moths all tour but you can keep your fingers crossed, its such an amazing song.




  73. Logan

    Craig, I’m tending to believe that. a couple of setlists that were posted had it listed, but then were corrected in later posts and it was removed.

    but hey Chase, it works out fine actually, if they play it the 25th, 28th, and 30th. fits the exact definition of “every couple shows.” ;) you can see it on the 25th, and I’ll just get to see it twice on the 28th and 30th. it’s perfect.




  74. Katie

    dustin said they added a few more songs to the pool as the tour has gone on.
    new additions would include motion isnt meaning & blood clots and black holes. i thought he said a third one too, but i cant remember what. poop.

    motion was pretty good live.
    and, unlike flags of dawn, it seemed like more people knew that b-side. really good energy behind it.




  75. Melissa H.

    they seriously added Blood Clots and Black Wholes??!! that was my dream song that ‘requested’ (unless you get to meet them before hand.. i guess it’s not a real request… ) a few times. it was not played. but if it is played sometime before the end of tour, somebody please record it and youtube it - please please.. (also.. Thrice.. hint for fall/ next tour )




  76. Denise

    Yes! Come to Toronto in the Fall! :D It’ll be brisk out, but at least it won’t be winter! ;] Do eeeet.




  77. chaseT

    wow. this is a very amazing journey you have been taking




  78. Christine

    ed, awesome beard. save yourself some pain and trim the ’stache. hope ya’ll enjoyed SF, we had some good weather that day before the fog rolled in.



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